So it’s 20 days into 2019. How is it possible to be 19 years since the New Millenium? I remember the transition from 1999 to 2000 as if it was a year ago.
Reality is what it is, after all. So much has changed from one year to the next. Very similar to nighttime dreams, when you mention to a friend, “You won’t believe this crazy dream I had last night…” And more and more, real life seems to have been predicted by the crazy-dream state.
And none of it is bad. My life is important to me alone. You raise a child to the best of your ability, allow them to go out into the world and make the most of it, as you yourself did. And you’re once more alone. As you know from VB’s previous posts, that’s perfectly fine with me.
But….there is so much beyond one’s control. When you give yourself permission to explore another’s mind, it can potentially be dangerous, but also the most rewarding thing. Dangerous when you meet a roadblock of some kind or another. Fear, distance, inconvenience….
I keep allowing such connections since they’re so apart from ordinary daily life. Almost like a religious sacrifice where I’m the altar. Except in religion, sacrifice at the altar involves an Abraham-like choice decision to offer up one’s beloved progeny.
There’s something quite wrong with that. Real, life-giving sacrifice is offering up things harmful to us that block our ability to self-actualize, to finally manifest our real, magnificent self.
What IS that?
Well, what causes you the most pain?
Might it be your deep longing to connect with someone on a deeply profound sexual and emotional level? Might it be sexual fulfillment with someone who understands and shares your need? Might it be your wish to be real with another human being without having to hold up a facade of humor or bravado?
I don’t know what yours is. Mine is sitting in the chair in the photo as I write this. My need is for my body is to be healthy, vibrant, sexy, energized. So my intention this year is to open a space in my life in order to allow that to happen.
Ya know, sometimes we need to clear out old shit to leave space for new shit to take its place. State the intention and watch what happens.