2017 Was a Bitch

But I’m still standin’.

Personally –  I’ve had to make do and be resourceful, do without, and let things go that I tried my best to save. Sold most of my good jewelry, my parents’ wedding silver, old coins…..who needs stuff, anyway. My sweet and loving cat died; shit, that was hard. No kitty was loved more than him though. He was perfect in every way; some cats are lovable jerks. Not this one. At least he knew he was loved. For the first time in my life, I’m alone. My job as a mother is done; it’s gratifying to know your child turned out to be someone you’d love even if they weren’t yours. Apparently, the Universe is of the opinion that no man is/was good enough for me, because all I hear are crickets. I usually just tell the Universe to fuck off anyway for stuffing me into a human body. We both know I don’t actually belong here (joking, joking…..kinda).

I’m afraid for my country (U.S). I saw all of this happening when I was horrified that the Orange Satan won the Republican nomination. Oh, but there’s no way he’ll win the election…… Nate Silver even said so, and he’s never wrong. Horrified doesn’t describe it. No one figured in Putin’s help. Nothing that Orange Satan has caused to happen so far has surprised me. No, I’m not negative, but I am pragmatic. When you take a corrupt man and stick him in the White House, his corruption will metastasize until something drastic stops him, a metaphorical chemotherapy. Right now, Robert Mueller and team is our best hope, and he’ll do what’s right for us. Whether it’s enough, keep praying. I can’t even speculate about the evil power that Orange Satan has over Republicans in Washington. I get too angry. Our country has been infected by our enemy Putin, and Republicans’ reaction is nothing to see here….move along. The biggest corrupt coverup in history is going on. Where’s Leslie Nielsen?? Surely this tongue-in-cheek comedy has a name. I visualize this era will be something we live through and talk about for the rest of our lives, like Watergate, the Vietnam War, the Bush era of going to war over nonexistent WMDs……..Hell, ole Bush II’s popularity rating has gone through the roof of late. Is our bar that low? Don’t answer that.

So yeah. This here photo is the perfect illustration of me from all the shit that’s happening. I’m grateful for so many things though, which I thank God for; I literally do, because I know how it feels to be appreciated. I think God must appreciate it even more. I try to not think about things that are out of my control, but I will admit one thing: you chicks who have a loving man to hold you when life is hard, to be strong when you’re weak, who can lift and carry things you can’t, who can repair things, and cook when you’re dead tired and hungry from working in the days and nights…..you’d damn well better show your appreciation, cause I’ll kick your ass next time you bitch to me about some minor mistake he made and you yelled at him with righteous indignation. I’ll be happy to give you a tour of everything that needs fixing at my house. Send him here and he’ll get more appreciation than he can handle.

But I still have my love and fascination of life and the world, the business I built from nothing, my kick-ass angry bitchy self, patience, and laughter. I’ll make it!


….are energy centers of the body. Knowledge of them originated in India between 1500 and 500 BC, so it’s not New Age theory. Since I’m going through an extremely rough patch right now, I make a point of meditating on my chakras most days, as it beings me peace and awareness of things I can control. I use this 15-minute session, and  it makes a world of difference.

As a violinist and lover of all things science, I noticed an intriguing thing: the frequencies (musical notes) associated with the chakras are associated with the most “pure” musical scale – the one with no sharps or flats – all “natural” notes, which is C Major. Starting with the most “base” chakra – in your genitals – and moving up through all seven – they play a C scale – C- D – E – F – G – A – up to the crown, B. One octave, when you include the tonic (starting note ) of C! Note that knowledge of the chakras pre-dates Western music, which certainly did not exist in India.

Each chakra also has a color associated with it, starting with Red (genitals) – Orange – Yellow – Green – Blue – Indigo – up to the crown, Violet. Sound familiar? Roy G. Biv? Yes, the colors of the rainbow!

Which begs the question – is knowledge of the electromagnetic spectrum – sound and light – found within us, in our energy centers? Perhaps there’s much more to be known and understood.




…….is a ghost. Seen in the corner of the eye. It’s talked about in whispers in fear of scaring it away, or that it might think you actually believe in it, when it laughs at your naïveté. 

It dresses as a ghost, in translucent gauze, insubstantial and startling. It teases, the topic of heated discussions about its existence. Sightings are compared among the wild-eyed and shell-shocked.

It angers and inflames. Lies constantly. Needs no one. Mocks your needy weakness. Exploits vulnerability. Confuses and miscommunicates. 

It dissipates when you turn on lights or worship it. 

It brushes your cheek, but when you grasp for more, you catch air. Not real, yet not a fable. You believed in it once or twice, and it laughed in your face. 

It makes you bitter for wanting it, hating yourself for needing it. 

It looks at you lasciviously, yet will never touch you. It makes you wet and laughs at your need to pleasure yourself instead. 

It fucks you with words and promises. You fall for it.

Like a wild animal, it will never come closer to you. You entice it with food, yet comes only when your back is turned. 

It lingers when you pretend to not give a shit. It will spend the night with you only when you sleep and need nothing.

~Lucy Len


Sexual Healing

Lisa Ling has a series on CNN where she explores different cultures and lifestyles. This coming Sunday, Oct. 1st, her episode Sexual Healing premiers. She said in a short interview on CNN just now that we are all sexual beings. Every aspect of our lives is affected in some way by our own sexuality – how we express it, how we accept or reject it – is played out in surprising ways. A concept I completely agree with.

In this new episode she explores tantric sex, as well as someone who is a “sex surrogate;” a therapist who engages in the sex act with their client with the intent to educate and provide therapy, who presumably has a hurdle they need to overcome.

So much of exploring one’s self takes us on the path of sexuality. I believe it is the seat of all of our passions and desire to live a juicy life. Yet there is so much shame around it. So many are afraid of their own selves, of what dark entity they’ll find.

I will definitely be watching, and am gratified that this is on a major network and not hidden on a porn channel in shame.

Your Own Hotline To Wisdom – Right Now

All the wisdom we need is within ourselves. If we need knowledge outside of our understanding or experience, we’ll be lead to who – or whatever can teach us.

Jamie Catto

The two ways that we tend to access the wonderful, illuminating and inspiring wisdom and peace we humans are so capable of is either through someone else who, perhaps long ago, dared to get themselves into such a state of empty receptivity and deep listening that a blast of utter clarity and truth came through them and they wrote it all down (or told it to those who could hear it – and those guys wrote it down as best they could). Later on, maybe millions of people were so touched and nourished and switched on when they read this wisdom that they decided ‘this is it!’ and maybe even became scholars of that message, teaching it to more and more people and making it their life’s passion to share it with as many as possible. Hence Religions and ‘paths’ with priests, academics, and experts….even hierarchies. I’m not writing them…

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