I so bombed last night. Missed entrances, was uptight, and my playing reflected that. Only one more rehearsal before the concert. Our conductor didn’t appear thrilled with the group. I wasn’t the only one, but it’s my responsibility to play nearly flawlessly; it was miserable.
My perfectionism is doing me in. Practice a lot and do my best, is all I can do.
Am not used to being it, with no one to follow, rely on, or hide behind. Need a chicky chill pill. This isn’t the NY Philharmonic exactly; nevertheless, my best is far better than this.
For next Monday, practice till my fingers fall off.