Old Flowered Wallpaper
Nothing to do with music – but since VB is about a journey –
Waiting for my cereal to cool this morning – standing at the sink – looking out the window –
Thought about how probably 90% of everything that has ever squashed my real self – due to real, actual squashing, or discouraging me, or my own timidity – is gone from my life.
It was a pretty euphoric feeling to realize that. I wouldn’t trade this point in my life right now for anything – except for my tomorrows. Thinking of all the days, decisions, experiences, that landed me in this spot at this time – I have bucketloads of regrets as well as pats on the back – nothing, and I mean nothing, is a better teacher than experience.
Which has given me a deeply felt assurance – not simply faith or hope – that whatever I allow to enter my life from here on in is to be accepted as a gift, which I will appreciate and celebrate.
Those things that are not me? I will just keep on walking by.
The remaining 10% – just a matter of self-confidence, ripping off old flower-wallpapered beliefs. All physical labor – the doing, the undressing and re-dressing. Accepting as truth not what I see in a mirror, but through another’s perfect eyesight.