Vexation

……a polite word for the state of being pissed off. And I have been so so there lately. Having a little taste of things to come musically…..and really digging it…..without the ability to do it, yet.

Classical bores me anymore. I never really have enjoyed listening to it in my adult life, still don’t. Only time I listen to it is if it’s something I’m working on. But since embracing Lucy and electric/rock/metal violin, a door has opened – all I want to do is jump in recklessly.

Am pissed because nothing is happening fast enough. All happens in its proper time, but I want want want. I want to do a VB exposition, but changes I need to make to my playlist won’t take. I want to be da Bitch, but it’s a process, considering where I’m coming from.

So I do what I can – rehearsal tonight for Christmas Eve and Day – boring, but  went dressed by Lucy. Felt very very good.

I don’t think there’s any more vexing thing than to have a taste of something but having to wait for it. It has been happening to me a lot lately, and I am tired, mad, fed up about it. Pissed doesn’t even begin to describe my mood.

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