Rollin’ in the Deep

My soul has been cocooning in a dark, mysterious place. Darkness is not depression or negativity. It’s the deep place the millisecond after committing to something, when you know you’re right just as the floor disappears beneath you.

It’s the place you surrender yourself to in sleep. Or the  place you enter after facing reality, giving up someone or something that, fascinating as they/it might be to you, creates a whole lot of angst.

Being free from anyone close these past several months has forced me to dig down deep, shout into the cave WHO’S IN THERE?? Listen for an answer.

So as you know, if you’ve been reading my posts, I found a chick very different from the persona I present to the world.

Don’t most of us act a part?

But now my audience has left, the theater dark and empty. The stage clear of scenery and props.

There is a mirror. And a dressing room. And a wardrobe. Makeup.

So I try on different looks. Speak with different inflections, voices. Find what feels right, what matches my insides.

Doesn’t matter. It’s not a performance. All the seats are empty. My echoing voice filling the theater.

Just dark – soft – easy. No distractions. No pleasing, playing to them, negativity.

Just bein’