There’s this mountain in China ~ Mount Hua Shan. At the top, there’s a teahouse:


Suppose the one place you need to be in life is this tea house. And suppose the only way to get there is to climb the Heavenly Stairs:

images                   one

Then you have to take this gondola:


Finally, you must walk this plank path:

images  images

To reach this tea house:


Whatever your life goals are, shit is gonna get scary and intimidating. The higher your goals, the more you’re gonna have to go through to get there.

People get in your way, you pass some frozen in terror. Others fly by having the time of their lives. Some slip and fall, and you have no choice but let them go.

But it’s your fucking tea house. So you plan, strategize, learn the challenges from those who’ve been there. Strengthen your arms and legs. Watch the weather.

Right now, on this day, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, I’m crawling along the plank part of the trail, trying to not look down. I’m on my own now, scared shitless; while I was looking the other way, my trail partner wasn’t there anymore. Yeah, it fucking hurts. They gave me the courage to walk this path. We were making the journey together. But I guess it wasn’t their’s to make.

So one day, you go. You just do it. And keep doing it every damn day.


If You Want the Right People To Find You, They Need Your Address


For an awesome life, having a pack to run with ~ fellow wolves, a circle of friends, trusted, understanding, and supportive others  ~ sure helps your personal life.

In business, cultivate your own tribe. Like-minded peeps you call yours. People you inspire and guide. They have needs that only you in your uniqueness can fill. A service to society, where money is secondary, abundance follows.

This doesn’t happen by accident. It takes work, intent, and some vulnerability.

It took me a stupidly long time to discover that ya can’t have it both ways. You can’t play it safe and gather the right supporters. You can’t keep your heart and mind walled up and expect the right people to come in.

But you’re a private person. You don’t give away personal information or confidential stuff.

I know. Me too. I’m not advocating giving anyone personal data, or spilling your secrets. But if you want to attract supportive and understanding friends, and clients who need your gifts, you must be audacious and courageous.

Honesty is endearing. Let others take a peek at your “dark” side. Not all at once, and certainly not entirely, but…enticingly.

Attract your tribe, those who resonate with you. Be real! Show us where you live. Breathe deep. Be courageous…audacious…fearless.



Thankful for…


Family and Friends…and kitty

Those who have taught me lessons…usually unwittingly

My Ancestors’ providence

Violin…and all music

Our dark sides as well as the light



The Warrior Left Standing Alone


And speaking of yesterday’s post….do you ever feel like the only warrior left standing on the battlefield because your fellow soldiers have defected?

Am I the only brave one, when I depended on you to see us through the battle together? Cheering and cherishing each other on?

I’m still standing, swinging my sword. But for myself. I didn’t want it this way. 

So fuck off, ye cowardly soldiers.




The people who have had the most profound, positive, game – changing influence on my life don’t stick around. It doesn’t matter how much they tell me they will never give up or what a rare find I am, or how they can’t live without me, they take off.

Like Bridges of Madison County. Except I refuse to live the rest of my life pining and sighing.

Why do mind-blowing discoveries about oneself have to be delivered by such shallow and insincere love?

Seriously……what the fuck? Am I that strong that no one can handle me? Am I the only brave one?


Another Goal Done!

For years I’ve been hooked on Pepsi One and Coke Zero. Like how people need smokes I suppose. I drove out of state recently, and one of my priorities was making sure I had a supply of Zero’s (Pepsi discontinued One) in the car. Seriously, I do sweat over what I’d do if I run out.

So on this last trip, I decided to just give it up. My last bottle of that shit was on the trip back home. “Someday” isn’t a day of the week, ya idjit! (I said to myself).

But really, diet soda is addictive for some reason, I’ve heard that anyway. Which wouldn’t be a problem, except for the reported health issues it creates concerns me, especially as one is at a certain age when good health doesn’t just happen anymore without help.

I don’t know what aspartame does exactly to your bod, but trust me…just because the FDA approves something as safe doesn’t mean diddly squat.

Anecdotal evidence agrees with my issues, especially constant painful leg muscles – my legs hurt like shit the same way they get stiff, only it’s more than stiff – they hurt. My arms are the same way – the big muscles hurt when I move my arms. For someone who makes her living playing violin, that’s damn scary.

Some parts of my feet have become permanently numb. Then over the past year +, my hands go numb unless I hold my arms in a certain position. It happens while playing violin. Scary.

Some of the damage caused by Aspartame is to the nerves, so I have to wonder if that’s the reason, and is it reversible?

All I know is, since being Aspartame-free for almost two weeks, my leg muscles, while stiff, don’t hurt! My new strategy is drinking seltzer and (shocking!) plain water.

If you drink diet soda regularly, ditching it will make you feel better!

One goal at a time.

Why I Do Violin Bitch

2015-11-11 22.59.54Because there are things I need to say. Writing rips off the nicey-nice costume my soul has concealed herself in until recently. I write here to get to know myself. To understand things that make no sense to me. Bask in things that light me up.

The world needs all of us to show up wearing our power gear – whatever it is we’re passionate about. Mine happens to be music, violin, eroticism, as a start.

If you’re brave, check out my posts on Violin Bitch’s Facebook page (for adults only). Nothing feels better than expressing myself. Am happy to share.

2015-11-12 21.22.08Decadent much?

“People Have An October As Well”

2015-10-26 20.15.30

October is about trees revealing colors they’ve hidden all year. People have an October as well.

~ Jim Storm

That wasn’t what I intended to write about today, but it reflects Violin Bitch’s vibe about being real and revealing our genuine selves.

Since I last posted, I set up a “sacred” work space for myself. Sacred because it’s for one purpose only….to grow my dreams of letting myself out… to try to make a better life for myself and others.

I’m trying to come out of the Bitch closet!

So my work space is this smoked glass and chrome desk that I’ve had about ten years. It was in my bedroom all along, but I moved it into my upstairs living room where it looks pretty good. The sun shines on it, making it all sparkly and shit.

Sitting on it are only things that move my life in the direction I’m going:

~ Passion Planner that I need for mapping out goals and daily steps

~ a book “1000 Fonts” for hand-lettering

~ “Little Black Book of Scales” for electric violin improvisation

~ thesaurus for blog and website posts

~ hole punch, Scotch tape, Hobbit sword, huge eraser, pens

~ two books on Tarot, plus a deck ~ I’m learning about it

~ rainbow colored markers for writing in the Passion Planner

~ a plethora of art books ~ Zentangle, Making Pearls by Jeanne Carbonetti (she was my high school English teacher,  and I was absolutely enamored of her when she was Miss Leonie. I was equally enamored of another of my English teachers, Mr. Carbonetti. I learned years later that they ended up marrying each other! Interesting, huh? I got in touch with her a few years ago because she was featured in a Yankee Magazine article, and she sent this book to me!), “Mixed Media Techniques in Art Journaling,” “Naughty Words For Nice Writers” (not that I actually need that, but there might be words even I’ve never heard), “Thinking Like a Romance Writer”

~  a tote filled with lettering supplies, a box filled with pastels, a binder with notes and printouts for “Playing Wild”

~ this gorgeous journal I picked up at Barnes & Nobel in which I record my Tarot notes (it was an indulgence…but hey)

Other things that have happened the past two weeks ~ learning all about growing my business through the academy I joined. It’s so wonderful to join with a large group of like-minded chicks who lift each other up. I just really click with them. They’re unconventional in the same ways I am, and that is wonderful. Thanks to the internet, we are all over the world. Also thanks to the internet, my business could not exist.

So back to the title, my intentions are working on revealing my real colors, one leaf at a time. I was a green leaf for five decades. Now here’s my vibrant self! Let it color the world.

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