I originally posted this last year in April. I had just been in a tailspin of one horrible thing after another – my car was in an accident when someone cut directly in front of me making a left turn, my son’s car (which used to be mine, my 22-year-old baby) was totaled when it was sideswiped by an 18-wheeler, then he bought a gorgeous 3-year-old car, his dream car where the stars all lined up the right way for him to get it, which was totaled 1 1/2 months later when someone ran into him in a parking lot. There were relatively minor things too, like my washing machine motor dying. All of these things happened from January to April, when I wrote the post, below.
I’m following up on it to give you hope that hard times don’t last forever, keep doing whatever you can even when you’re so fucking pissed at the universe, God, whoever, do not give up. Reframe your reality if necessary, just put one foot in front of the other facing the general direction you want to go, and walk.
*Deep thoughts alert*
I’m just glad the cold months are done. They trip up my mind. This winter has had enough ugliness – darkness – Bad Things.
Not one of those BT’s was caused by my own wrongdoing. I have no problem accepting responsibility when I’ve fucked up, I do it all the time.
The BT’s happened even as I diligently put my best efforts into preserving the things I ended up losing. Material things, people, keeping my support system intact – *POOF!*
Some things just go wrong and we can’t blame ourselves. I want to believe that when this kind of shit happens outside of our control, we are given grace at least from the universe to heal and rebuild something in its place that might just be better than what we had but refused to consider letting go.