She Was Never Here
My plans for the next few months are:
~ to schedule electric violin lessons with Bridgid Bibbens – she said YES !
~ enroll in motorcycle riding class
~ do my photo shoot that I talked about before.
Everything takes time. I get it. But the time isn’t right yet for any of this.
Because to shed the last vestige of my former life, I need to lose *a little more* weight. And it just takes fucking time. I’ve made a lot of progress! Feel fantastic. Energized and sexy. And there’s still a way to go.
The second I pull up at the end of this journey, I’ll look hot in tight leather, rocking my electric violin, riding a bike, with a portfolio of badass photos.
Anyone who knows me, except one particular person who knows the real me, will be totally shocked at the transformation. Where did the good girl go?
The truth is, she was never here.
I’m not superficial. I’m not promoting the lie that skinny chicks are better than anyone else. The thing is, this is MY journey. It’s my necessity to live my life. I need to have a certain body type to be who I am, to dress my reality.
There’s so much at stake, so many things I cannot lose, that I’m obsessed with doing what I have to get there.
The ultimate prize is to move freely about without anonymity. My level of righteous anger right now is like a 10.