But I’m still standin’.
Personally – I’ve had to make do and be resourceful, do without, and let things go that I tried my best to save. Sold most of my good jewelry, my parents’ wedding silver, old coins…..who needs stuff, anyway. My sweet and loving cat died; shit, that was hard. No kitty was loved more than him though. He was perfect in every way; some cats are lovable jerks. Not this one. At least he knew he was loved. For the first time in my life, I’m alone. My job as a mother is done; it’s gratifying to know your child turned out to be someone you’d love even if they weren’t yours. Apparently, the Universe is of the opinion that no man is/was good enough for me, because all I hear are crickets. I usually just tell the Universe to fuck off anyway for stuffing me into a human body. We both know I don’t actually belong here (joking, joking…..kinda).
I’m afraid for my country (U.S). I saw all of this happening when I was horrified that the Orange Satan won the Republican nomination. Oh, but there’s no way he’ll win the election…… Nate Silver even said so, and he’s never wrong. Horrified doesn’t describe it. No one figured in Putin’s help. Nothing that Orange Satan has caused to happen so far has surprised me. No, I’m not negative, but I am pragmatic. When you take a corrupt man and stick him in the White House, his corruption will metastasize until something drastic stops him, a metaphorical chemotherapy. Right now, Robert Mueller and team is our best hope, and he’ll do what’s right for us. Whether it’s enough, keep praying. I can’t even speculate about the evil power that Orange Satan has over Republicans in Washington. I get too angry. Our country has been infected by our enemy Putin, and Republicans’ reaction is nothing to see here….move along. The biggest corrupt coverup in history is going on. Where’s Leslie Nielsen?? Surely this tongue-in-cheek comedy has a name. I visualize this era will be something we live through and talk about for the rest of our lives, like Watergate, the Vietnam War, the Bush era of going to war over nonexistent WMDs……..Hell, ole Bush II’s popularity rating has gone through the roof of late. Is our bar that low? Don’t answer that.
So yeah. This here photo is the perfect illustration of me from all the shit that’s happening. I’m grateful for so many things though, which I thank God for; I literally do, because I know how it feels to be appreciated. I think God must appreciate it even more. I try to not think about things that are out of my control, but I will admit one thing: you chicks who have a loving man to hold you when life is hard, to be strong when you’re weak, who can lift and carry things you can’t, who can repair things, and cook when you’re dead tired and hungry from working in the days and nights…..you’d damn well better show your appreciation, cause I’ll kick your ass next time you bitch to me about some minor mistake he made and you yelled at him with righteous indignation. I’ll be happy to give you a tour of everything that needs fixing at my house. Send him here and he’ll get more appreciation than he can handle.
But I still have my love and fascination of life and the world, the business I built from nothing, my kick-ass angry bitchy self, patience, and laughter. I’ll make it!