I well know the power of leather. Wear it and conquer the world.
That is all.
I well know the power of leather. Wear it and conquer the world.
That is all.
This is my third attempt at writing tonight’s blog post.
Life feels complicated sometimes. I’ve been frustrated over not enough time and too many things. Obviously, I need to rethink priorities. I feel like captain of a cargo ship when all I really want is a rowboat. What can I change? Materially as well as how I use my time?
I’ve been crashing a lot the past few days, as in feeling tired and overwhelmed. And frustrated. Looking for answers: maybe if I do this instead of that, or focus on something else. What’s wrong?
Maybe the answer isn’t in finding an answer so much as to pare things down. Simplify is actually my “word” for 2017.
When I was kid, I loved reading stories of the pioneer families on the Oregon Trail. At some point many had to dump possessions off their covered wagons when the horses or oxen became tired, or their wheels fell off. Piles of belongings along the trail…
learning to play rock violin
fauxbonichi (art journaling)
get past the first draft of the novel I wrote
record my own song in Garage Band
oh, then there’s the erotic novella I started
tidy the house
give away clothes that aren’t in line with who I am
That’s a lot of stuff to give up, isn’t it? The photo for this post ~ there’s a saying that goes something like, “If your hands are too full you can’t hold someone else’s.”
On a recent visit to Starbucks, I was wearing my super-sexy boots with black leggings. I don’t wear them that often, since they make me feel a little like Xena the Warrior Princess; too much energy and power for every day, and I’m not always in the mood for it. These are, you know, the over-the-knee type that, if I am to be honest, make me stare at women wearing them ~ and I’m totally straight sexually!
I’m waiting in line, and it starts again. Those hissing voices from the past rising up from the depths like the kraken that devour pirate ships.
Look at that fat piece of shit thinkin’ she’s hot (snorts of laughter).
🎶 Penny for penny, pound for pound, you get more fat from Len than any other kid around 🎶
You’re just a slut.
You can’t do that.
And the entire room erupted in laughter.
Of course, all of this happened in my head ~ replaying things that actually did happen in the past.
So why do we relive, replay, and recycle this trash in our heads? I’m not “fat” anymore. I’m a confident chick who has grown; anyone talks like that to me now would get kicked in the ass.
Have no idea. Probably a kind of tool for survival.
It stops us from being a better person, from growing out of old limits, living by standards set for us that no longer apply. They’re old and not real – mythical like the Kraken.
Acknowledge them, thank them, and send them on their way.
I was scrolling through photos today of the women’s protests around the world. Last I heard, there were 627 of them. People all over the world catching the fire of indignation. I couldn’t help but cry.
I pray that today’s protests exonerate us and shows the world that the majority of us are not idiots ~ despite that the Orange Ugly American won ~ and I can’t blame them. The thousands upon thousands (millions, probably) who turned up at women’s marches here and around the world ~ it’s so freaking awesome.
I will protest and fight until wrong is righted. I will support women and allies, and the communities threatened by the new administration ~ LGBT, immigrants, women’s rights, human rights, the environment, people of color, Native Americans, people of all faiths.
It’s simple, really ~ our “president” completely lacks basic human decency. I did not watch the inauguration, and I still have not, and won’t.
I am filled with joy and gratitide to see the outpouring of righteous anger and compassion that sends a worldwide FUCK YOU to the new administration.
I’m gratified to see that the rest of the world sees through his shit. Sometimes things get so bad that you feel alone.
Anger is like burning fuel. It will either destroy its container, or can be harnessed as rocket fuel. After what happened today, I’m so motivated and optimistic that this isn’t the end, but the beginning of a coming together for a common, positive purpose.
It’s gonna be hard, it’s gonna suck, it’s gonna hurt. But we can do this.
Just a few minutes till I have to leave for a rehearsal. As usual, the image has nothing to do with my post, but maybe I can find a way to make it relevant 😀.
I just watched Pres. Obama’s tribute to Joe Biden. I was a mess. Eisenhower was President when I was born, so I’ve been through a few. I’ve said this plenty of times ~ I’ve never felt actual love for any president as I do for Obama. I’ve always known he’d be a fantastic president, but after these eight years, my heart just swells with pride and love for this honorable, smart, gentleman. And his brotherly relationship with Joe. Well, what can I possibly add?
Today’s speech by both men really affected me. If guys like these were common, they’d be less appreciated, wouldn’t they?
There’s nothing quite like appreciating the rare and beautiful.
This image is a wedding dress created by a business called Uptight Clothing. It is one-of-a-kind. Like the best things in life.
Beautiful because it’s rare.
This article appeared in Elephant Journal. For some – me included – it’s necessary to share one’s mind publicly and fearlessly.
Click on the link here to read it:
who you are
how to dress….act…..think.
Because you know what? Those things you were taught came from adults who lived in a different world than you do now. They may have been gospel truth a generation or two ago, but they don’t serve you as the unique individual that you are.
We are not massed-produced albums of music. We have to write our own songs.
And that pretty much pissed me off when I figured it out. It’s like holding onto the owner’s manual of your first car and expecting it to apply to your current one. The only thing they have in common are four wheels, for shit’s sake.
Me? Im not so unique. But I question everything because things stopped working. Maybe they never worked, but I’m just now seeing it.
I was raised to be a metaphorical nun, when in reality I’m more like a Joan Jett. Fuck that shit. The one thing we cannot change is the reality of who we are. But we can shed the old skin.
Religion…question it. There’s no one right answer. It’s a spiritual path. Truth is inside you. Just find it. It’s your Kevlar vest.
Money….it’s a different society than when we were taught. Rules have changed. Be smart, use your left brain, and stick to your goals.
Relationships…..whatever works for you. Manage your expectations. Get on the same page. Think outside the box. Don’t let your parents, or your memory of them, live through you, especially when guilt is involved. Did I say, think outside the box?
Now go, and be you.
My plans for the next few months are:
~ to schedule electric violin lessons with Bridgid Bibbens – she said YES !
~ enroll in motorcycle riding class
~ do my photo shoot that I talked about before.
Everything takes time. I get it. But the time isn’t right yet for any of this.
Because to shed the last vestige of my former life, I need to lose *a little more* weight. And it just takes fucking time. I’ve made a lot of progress! Feel fantastic. Energized and sexy. And there’s still a way to go.
The second I pull up at the end of this journey, I’ll look hot in tight leather, rocking my electric violin, riding a bike, with a portfolio of badass photos.
Anyone who knows me, except one particular person who knows the real me, will be totally shocked at the transformation. Where did the good girl go?
The truth is, she was never here.
I’m not superficial. I’m not promoting the lie that skinny chicks are better than anyone else. The thing is, this is MY journey. It’s my necessity to live my life. I need to have a certain body type to be who I am, to dress my reality.
There’s so much at stake, so many things I cannot lose, that I’m obsessed with doing what I have to get there.
The ultimate prize is to move freely about without anonymity. My level of righteous anger right now is like a 10.
As I approach a “certain age” it makes me actually sad to see people I know, only a year or two older than me, decide they’re “old,” and therefore shut down life and slide into decline.
Holy fuckface! What the fuckety fuck?? Why??
I’m just getting my chops. I wouldn’t give up right now for anything! So many things to do….drive across country in a camper, ride on a motorcycle, launch my successful business, read the 500 books on my list!
They say things like that’s fine for you, I can’t because [……….]. Well hell. All you have to do is find someone to teach you how to do whatever and you’re on your way. At the beginning of this year, I was clueless about website design (by that I don’t mean a blog like this….I’m talking about a full-on, high-end site), hosting, optimization, SEOs. I looked around and found someone to teach me. And guess what? I’ve almost completed my home page. Riding a motorcycle…..I never have, don’t even know anyone who has one, but I’ll make it happen somehow. Ride across country….probably not this year yet, but it’s on my list.
Leave those old farts to their misery. I’m just getting started!
Your best reward isn’t in reaching your goal. Your best reward is in the person you have to become in order to get there.
I read this recently but don’t remember who said it. Well, I sure as shit am not the same person anymore. I promise to talk more about it soon.
That, and my business when it launches. It’s all part of the same insane transformation.
Meanwhile, have a listen to a song that holds an ocean’s worth of meaning to me.
A silent cacophony
living life in conscious reality
love, sex, happiness, poetry
"Diving into a writers soul is discovering the broken treasure and beautiful mysteries that make you gasp for air."
Playing With Fire
Playing With Fire
Playing with words, burning the body
Erotic Poetry and Stories
Welcome to the inner workings of my mind