Women & Wolves

 

The affinity between women and wolves. The concept of the wild woman accompanied by a wolf.

There’s a certain kind of woman who fights for her wildness, a feminine freedom. Probably the first to connect the two was Clarissa Pinkola Estes in her book, Women Who Run With the Wolves. 

Why do many of us identify with wolves (specifically, she-wolves)?

Wolves are non-violent, with an aversion to aggression, fighting, and violence. They’re devoted to and serve the pack and each other. They bond strongly to certain individuals. However, they can be aggressive when threatened.

They’re fearless survivors.

And intelligent.

Others who have enjoyed the company of wolves have described some individuals as confident, tolerant, and generous natural leaders, as wild and playful, as supportive and full of affection, as strong but kind, patient, and dignified, as not confident, less tolerant or easy-going, as happy, resilient and stern, and as relaxed, kind, lovable and never harsh.  Lisa Matthews, Wolf Song of Alaska

Wolves need no explanation. They just are. 

 

Skin

time sketches art as tattoos 

on my skin. each a lesson….a lover…..an indulgence,

my skin shivering with frisson from your tracing

 

 your deep breaths inflame me, 

and yourself

 

LL, VB

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Impossibility of Turning Back

“Once you start to awaken, no one can ever
claim you again for the old patterns.
Now you realize how precious your time here is.

You are no longer willing to squander your essence on undertakings that do not nourish your true self;
your patience grows thin with tired talk and dead language.
You see through the rosters of expectation which promise you safety and the confirmation of your outer identity.

Now you are impatient for growth,
willing to put yourself in the way of change.
You want your work to become an expression of your gift.
You want your relationship to voyage beyond the pallid frontiers to where the danger of transformation dwells.

You want your God to be wild
and to call you to where your destiny awaits.”

~ John O’Donohue

So what’s the Northern Lights have to do with this? As much as I wish to, I’ve never seen them. And once seen, can’t be unseen. Proof that life has more gifts than we can ever receive in a lifetime. There will always be something to look forward to, once done, received, can’t be returned.

I’ve found my life so to be over the past 3 1/2 years. I hope I don’t appear callous or unloving ~ just being pragmatic ~ this phase of my life began the day my last parent passed. So – there’s only me left. What do you do, then? Move on, right?

The above quote accurately sums up the last 3 1/2 years for me. Above all, I’ve become discerning when it comes to where I focus my energy and thoughts, how I spend my time. When you consciously make these choices, you’re much more likely to find yourself in a place (physically, mentally, emotionally) that you love.

Everything changes, and it’s scary and wild. And you’ll be grateful to yourself and never turn back.

…..or “Multi-Passioned?”

I’m not sure what to call our curious brain. I can only speak for myself, as I’m somewhat of an explorer of the inner universe, and hope my readers will find something useful that resonates with you and apply it to your own life experience.

I wish everyone walked around wearing t-shirts listing who they honestly are. I always feel like, in the sea of anonymous people we pass by every day, we would happily form a  connection to a lot more people, if we knew some little occult thing about each other. I’m not saying to be an open book ~ but hang out little signs revealing interesting things about ourselves in order to form rich connections.

Which isn’t the point of this post. I really wanted to write about how really odd it is I’ve always been obsessively interested in natural sciences like ecology, geology, meteorology, and especially astronomy. Yet….

…..at the same time I have an equal fascination with the occult (knowledge of the hidden, things that  can’t be measured, seen, quantified). Isn’t this paradoxical? Is it “seeing the big picture” taken to an extreme? In the natural universe it would be the equivalent of dark matter and dark energy.

We are weirdly fascinating. I love the exploration of those who are open to be explored.

What’s Shakin’

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As usual, my passion is tempting me take on new opportunities. If you’ve been following VB, you already know about the erotic novel in the works, Playing Wild. That’s heating up about a chapter a week. It’s turning into quite the scorcher!

I’m also digging deeper into my right brain, learning more about spiritual, woo-woo. Hey, I always said there’s more to things than we think we know.

If that weren’t enough, I’m setting up a new business website. Am opening up more of myself, which is scary as shit. But I can’t let worrying about rejection get to me. Every day I work a little more on my site, which is coming out very awesomly.

I’ve joined a worldwide group of creative women who have a goal of serving the world with our gifts. This group has opened up a humongous door in so many ways.

I also ditched my old violin teaching site for one that is more “me,” with the intention to bring a better vibe to my violin world.

My Facebook page continues to take care of itself with its erotic images and stuff.

And of course in between all this shit I’m playing (violin) and learning how I can do the above better. I just want to create abundance through making the world a pretty damn good place with me being me.

Perfectionism In Art is an Oxymoron.

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I want to bring awareness to a mindset that is counterproductive for people as well as our world ~ the belief that your art is unworthy unless it’s a Picasso or Rembrandt, Beethoven or Mozart, Shakespeare or Joyce.

My father’s dream was to be an opera singer. It’s the reason he came to the US. But his teachers told him sorry, you’re not cut out for opera, so he abandoned his music.  He was a talented artist in oil painting, but teachers said sorry you’re not a John Constable. So he abandoned his painting. He had a way with words, with an impressive vocabulary and grammar skills. He could have been a writer. He loved acting, but by this time he had to get a “real” job, so gave that up. It’s not that he was a perfectionist. He was discouraged from the get-go because artistic expression was viewed as a kind of competition with “the best.”

I’m grateful every single day that he passed on his artistic traits to me. I am far from superlative. I know I’m not, nor will ever come close to a Joshua Bell or Mark Wood or Hilary Hahn in the violin world. But I do my damndest to play my best.

You see, art of any kind ~ music, acting, painting, jewelry making, architecture, whatever ~ isn’t about being the best or being perfect.  It’s about being you, making the world a little more tolerable with your talents, in the place where you are.

Be you. Do you. We need you! You need you.

Continue reading

Your Dark Side is Knocking

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Yin gets a bad rap ~

evil

negative

passive

sinister

bad

weak

Judgements, right? Pretty much everything has yin and yang components. Without one, there’d be no concept of the other. How about if we consider both equally beautiful and acceptable. I’m talking about your yin, and mine, and everyone else’s ~

female

moon

shade

north side

black

soft

water

Earth

night

…..for starters.

The “dark” side isn’t evil or degenerate. It just is. Maybe we’ve only decided that certain parts are unacceptable. Suppose we assume both parts are equally valid? How would your perception of yourself change?

I’m not talking about good vs evil here. That’s another matter entirely.  I’m talking about things you really really like about yourself but are afraid to unleash because then you’d need to take some kind of action. A burning desire to explore, that kind of thing.

Just a thought. My website and page Violin Bitch is my action. More next time!

When Life Gives You T-Shirts, Make a Bustier

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This meme inspired me to talk about goal motivation.

Maybe it’s me but I don’t think so. Maybe life has dished out some consistently rotten experiences. Maybe you’ve subconsciously made certain choices that haven’t turned out so well. Maybe you reacted by promising yourself “no more.”

But there’s always a stupid hope that wakes when you unintentionally meet someone who changes your mind. You are enticed. You believe that “the cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” It takes every bit of your shaky courage to enter that goddam cave. You find the treasure box. You open the lid…….

…..and there’s nothing inside but a fucking rubber duckey.

Well guess what, Toots? You believe you need someone else to make your life complete and exciting? How’s that working out for you?? I thought so. Listen up cause I ain’t gonna repeat it ~

You don’t need jack shit from anyone. No one, and I mean NO ONE, will love you and turn you on and excite you anywhere near how you will feel once you have gone through the “becoming” of your true, authentic, soulful self. 

All you need is inside you. Anyone else you elevate to that role will disappoint, disappear, dissipate, devastate.

My lover is the Violin Bitch because she is me. How the fuck is THAT for goal motivation?

Who’s hiding inside you?

Grow a Pair, Woman!

Have talked about looking for someone to learn rock violin from, right? Found  Bridgid Bibbens. Video at the end of this article.

Bridgid is the one with the pink Viper. Contacted her, she said she would definitely teach me. All I need to do is get back to her about my schedule.

Haven’t done it yet. Balls up, woman!

She has performed with Christina Aguilera, Mary J. Blige, John Mayer, Alicia Keyes, others, and has worked with Mark Wood many years.

Fuckin cold feet!!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N1j1v-s1-vY&feature=youtu.be

Pyramids

Until this summer when I have my week of immersion in electric violin and rock I need to find other places to learn from.

On YouTube I found some great videos by Mei Ohara. She breaks things down to the most basic elements, easy to understand and try.

Since I was home for 44 hours straight, I studied these and tried them on my electric. There is so freakin much to learn. But so freakin fun. More than the Bruch concerto!

I’m like, are you kidding me? And laugh out loud.

Maybe I have too many goals, but each one leads to the others. Kinda like building a pyramid – not that I know what that’s like!  When you set the 4 corner stones they are so far apart, but as you build up row after row, they get closer together until they reach the point at the top.

That pretty much describes my 2015.

Another thing – one of my adult students plays jazz and rock on guitar and wants me to play with her and her group when she does these real informal gigs in bars. How cool is that?

I came across a quote of Richard Branson’s recently, something about when an opportunity comes up, say yes even if you don’t know how the hell to do it. You can always learn. This is that in action.

Pyramids.