Year of the Yoni

Photo:  yoni egg

Women’s March on Washington. March For Our Lives. Naomi Wadler. Emma Gonzalez. Stormy Daniels. MeToo. Righteously indignant mothers, sisters, daughters, grandmothers.

The Feminine Warrior is no longer just a TV fantasy.

2018 – still young, yet feels ancient. We can stop apologizing, compromising, and settling and start celebrating our divinely feminine selves.

I’ve been curious to learn how to better celebrate and explore sexuality. To deny it is to cut off a major energy source. Sexuality is part of the root chakra. Its color is blood red,  symbolized by a lotus flower, and the note “C.” It represents survival, security, basic needs, grounding, and support.

I believe that when we – and I mean men as well as women – view our sexuality as a powerful asset rather than the butt of jokes, explore it, test its limits, play with it, validate it, give it attention, it can be extremely powerful. And by “exploring” I don’t mean having sex with a partner. Rather, having sex with yourself. To do so requires a certain amount of courage and open-mindedness. I wonder if this is why we fear and laugh at it.

Explore your body. Ask questions of sexual areas. Do you like this? What does it want you to know? Feel it. Open up the energy into all areas of your life. Allow passion to infuse your entire body. Share your explorations with a sexual partner – again, that doesn’t necessarily mean having sex. It means holding a safe place for each other as you explore your own sexuality and the other’s with open minds.

 

 

 

2017 Was a Bitch

But I’m still standin’.

Personally –  I’ve had to make do and be resourceful, do without, and let things go that I tried my best to save. Sold most of my good jewelry, my parents’ wedding silver, old coins…..who needs stuff, anyway. My sweet and loving cat died; shit, that was hard. No kitty was loved more than him though. He was perfect in every way; some cats are lovable jerks. Not this one. At least he knew he was loved. For the first time in my life, I’m alone. My job as a mother is done; it’s gratifying to know your child turned out to be someone you’d love even if they weren’t yours. Apparently, the Universe is of the opinion that no man is/was good enough for me, because all I hear are crickets. I usually just tell the Universe to fuck off anyway for stuffing me into a human body. We both know I don’t actually belong here (joking, joking…..kinda).

I’m afraid for my country (U.S). I saw all of this happening when I was horrified that the Orange Satan won the Republican nomination. Oh, but there’s no way he’ll win the election…… Nate Silver even said so, and he’s never wrong. Horrified doesn’t describe it. No one figured in Putin’s help. Nothing that Orange Satan has caused to happen so far has surprised me. No, I’m not negative, but I am pragmatic. When you take a corrupt man and stick him in the White House, his corruption will metastasize until something drastic stops him, a metaphorical chemotherapy. Right now, Robert Mueller and team is our best hope, and he’ll do what’s right for us. Whether it’s enough, keep praying. I can’t even speculate about the evil power that Orange Satan has over Republicans in Washington. I get too angry. Our country has been infected by our enemy Putin, and Republicans’ reaction is nothing to see here….move along. The biggest corrupt coverup in history is going on. Where’s Leslie Nielsen?? Surely this tongue-in-cheek comedy has a name. I visualize this era will be something we live through and talk about for the rest of our lives, like Watergate, the Vietnam War, the Bush era of going to war over nonexistent WMDs……..Hell, ole Bush II’s popularity rating has gone through the roof of late. Is our bar that low? Don’t answer that.

So yeah. This here photo is the perfect illustration of me from all the shit that’s happening. I’m grateful for so many things though, which I thank God for; I literally do, because I know how it feels to be appreciated. I think God must appreciate it even more. I try to not think about things that are out of my control, but I will admit one thing: you chicks who have a loving man to hold you when life is hard, to be strong when you’re weak, who can lift and carry things you can’t, who can repair things, and cook when you’re dead tired and hungry from working in the days and nights…..you’d damn well better show your appreciation, cause I’ll kick your ass next time you bitch to me about some minor mistake he made and you yelled at him with righteous indignation. I’ll be happy to give you a tour of everything that needs fixing at my house. Send him here and he’ll get more appreciation than he can handle.

But I still have my love and fascination of life and the world, the business I built from nothing, my kick-ass angry bitchy self, patience, and laughter. I’ll make it!

Stuff

Been working on work, on my future (business), on being a better me, and making time for pleasures of life.

So many passions, so little time. So you learn to let things go. Focus without distraction on what you really want. That’s hard for me! When I was 20- or 30-something, I had my entire life yet to accomplish all those big plans. There just isn’t enough time to do everything. Later in life, you have to treat your dreams like your clothes – if you haven’t worn it/thought of it/worked on it/done it by now, better make some decisions on the ones you really want, and weed out the rest.

Focus on those and kill ’em! You can, we can.

 

 

 

 

 

Art & Sharing

I had some quiet time with myself today, just letting thoughts bubble up to the surface. One interesting idea that needs to be written about is how our life can be art. The self we express can be either without purpose, like a paint ball *splatted* against a wall, or it can be a carefully thought out, expressive piece of art.

Art is genuine and beautiful. Beauty of course is subjective, but it draws you in and grabs your attention. There’s something personally relatable to it, with a desire for more. When have you been in the presence of someone who is so real and relevant, who you felt drawn to?  I want to make this my purpose, to peel off conformity – a learned condition for protection –  and disclose what makes me unique.

Having a trail partner, someone who understands you, thinks like you, and/or simply appreciates you, as you do them. That must be the most empowering and synergistic dynamic there is. I don’t mean roses and chocolate, greeting cards and birthdays, Christmas gifts, champaign. Those are all very nice – but someone to explore life with as an adventure would be pretty cool.

Zipping Them Up

Days fly by.

Decided it was time to call it quits with my mentor. Gonna miss our weekly sessions, but I learned as much as I could from him. He taught me a ton of things, like improvising, finger shapes, playing without music, the rock world, effects (electronic toys), pentatonic scales and modes, and on and on.

He told me about a recording studio nearby for when I’m ready for it.

Talked about the organic process of taking things to the next level by finding other like~minded musicians.

So my next plan is to work through a set of music and recordings that I have, specifically for rock violin.

C200_Karisma_Recording_Mobile-Marcel_Gouin_large

Everything moves too damn slow. I want to be playing on stage NOW with a band, dammit! Rock Orchestra Camp ~ remember I was going? ~ would have been exactly what I need,  but am not able to this year.

So what does a violin chick do? Gets resourceful. My goal by the end of this year is to be able to play respectable rock stuff. Something specific ~ something barely achievable.

Ya can’t have open ~ ended goals. Those are just dreams. A certain thing by a certain date.

Check back here for my next post. Sheeeeaaaaatttt!!

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